The Bachelor Canada, Week 9: Cold Feet in the Fantasy Suite

The Bachelor Canada's in Tahiti this week for the major milestones of Fantasy Suites and Meet the Parents. First off, Tahiti is darned gorgeous. This was a one-hour travel ad. But not everything went smoothly. Let's bachcap!

Date with Trisha: Horsies and Pineapples

Tim takes Trish horseback riding through a pineapple plantation. It's lush and green, and Trish's horse is totally bonkers. Why couldn't Tim just switch horses with her. Trish and her horse keep veering off and I'm expecting a major pineapple accident. Luckily, nothing happens and they make it to their picnic area.

If this is supposed to be a metaphor for Tim's final choice, it's VERY rude

Trish loves "all the sides" of Tim, and Tim loves that Trish is bubbly, fun and confident. He finds she "has an intelligence about her" which is not exactly the same as calling someone "intelligent." To me it means, "you're not smart but you are wise in the way of children."

There is the usual talking about the rest of their lives being "one big amazing adventure." Tell me if you're still thinking like this when the grand adventure is picking up toilet paper from the pharmacy because your wife said you ran out.

To summarize, Tim and Trish have a picnic, they kiss, they have a dinner overlooking the water (gorgeous location!) and he offers the fantasy suite card. This was the first time I've ever seen a couple visibly blush before the fantasy suite. Trish accepts and off they go.

Date with April: The Yacht Means I Love You

When one woman gets to have a picnic in a pineapple patch, and the other woman gets to go on a yacht, we know who's the frontrunner. Tim admits, he wants this date to be "epic." Meaning, he likes April best.

The date you save for the one you really like

April doesn't feel "completely ready" to accept a proposal, but Tim wants her to take a "leap of faith." They leap off the edge of the yacht, they toast to "trust" (weird, right?), and none of it works. April likes/loves Tim, but she's not sure about the quick move toward a proposal. April's with the 95% of people who would not want to get engaged a few weeks after meeting the guy. She keeps playing with her hair. It's not going great, but April accepts to enter the fantasy suite because she needs to spend time with Tim. In a twist of awesomeness, the suite is ON THE YACHT. It's tight quarters down there - the bed takes up the whole room. Feels a bit claustrophobic - maybe this wasn't the best choice for their date after all.

Trish Meets the Parents: It's Good to Have Pageant Experience

Time to meet Tim's parents. Parents Peter and Marg look a bit uptight at first which is normal considering this bizarre scenario they're in. But Trish does a comedy show and makes them super-comfortable ("have you heard the one about my grandma's pot roast?"). It's like she's auditioning for Last Comic Standing. Marg takes Trish aside and has a list of questions which she calls the "interview for a lifetime" - No pressure. Trish's pageant experience comes in handy. She builds such a great rapport that when it starts to rain, she gets away with saying that Marg totally pulls off the "drowned rat" look. At the end, to the camera, Trish claims, "I nailed it!" No one could disagree with that!

Trish wows the parents with comedy and Jazz Hands (p.s., sorry my flash keeps ruining these pictures!)

April Meets the Parents: Um, Uh, Noooooo

Nope, this does not go well at all. April is feeling very ambivalent about this whole process. She feels "overwhelmed," she has "reservations," and she is not in the "head space" to meet Tim's parents. Peter and Marg begin to grill her, but April cannot answer basic questions. They ask her what she likes best about Tim, and she clams up like it's a surprise calculus exam. Poor April, she can't focus because she's so preoccupied with her concerns about the looming proposal. When she's talking to the camera, she's articulate in describing her thoughts. She feels she made a "terrible impression." This was so awkward to watch, I can't imagine how it felt to be in this situation. Horrible, awful, I feel so bad for her.

Parent Debrief 

Tim asks his parents what he should do. They answer that Trish seems more at ease and comfortable with herself, but they like that April is honest and upfront. Tim wants them to help him choose, but they won't fall into this trap. Tim asks who they imagine opening the door to, and Marg answers that it'll be a woman who loves and "puts up" with him. Yup, that sounds about right.

We Saw it Coming

Foreboding Tahitian music is playing and we know bad things are coming. Tim is summoned to April's room. She's crying  - everything has happened too quickly and she's freaking out. April feels too much pressure, there are so many "expectations!" This makes her want to pull away. Tim tries to process this with April, but the verbiage of it all just freaks her out more. She says she wants to GO HOME.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Then we get to see the credits, which I can't remember ever seeing on this show. Tim Warmels gets a credit as The Bachelor. I find it funny that there are credits for the "Senior Date Producers."

There are no previews for next week. Does April really go home? She's the frontrunner (as evidenced by the yacht). If she goes home, does Tim choose no one? Or does he possibly pull a Desiree and pick his second choice (remember when Brooks left and she was like, "Okay, Chris, I pick you!")? Or maybe Trish is really the frontrunner and the yacht was a misdirect (I don't think so, but it's possible).

"Hmmm, I think I need to sleep on it to figure this out (woof!)"

See you next week for the SHOCKING finale!