The Bachelor Season 19, Epsiode 8 Recap - Farmer Chris and the Wild Mustang

Anyone else feeling overdosed on Bachelor this week? Five hours is quite enough in two days. But we love this show and - in theory - we can't get enough. So let's bachcap!

Becca's First Love?

Before hometowns, we're still in Iowa. This state just sucks you in for the rest of your life. The last Iowa date goes to Becca. Chris learns that Becca has never been in love. Possible red flag. Not the fact that she hasn't been in love, that can happen. The red flag = never being in love and going on this show as your first stab at it. Chris doesn't seem to mind.

First love should occur off-camera

Bye-Bye Britt 

Pre-rose ceremony, Britt is packed and ready to go home. She can't handle the non-mutual nature of Bachelor relationships. I.e., Britt told Chris she wants to marry him, Chris gave a rose to Kaitlyn. I get it, this would not fly in real life. But this is The Bachelor and there are The Rules. Britt knows that Chris was not pleased with her outburst on the last group date. She is probably trying to preempt the dumpage. 

Carly is so uber-jealous this episode and she's itching for Britt to leave, as are the others. The others remember that last week was the "Chris & Britt" show. They don't think that Britt's really going to leave - she just wants Chris to beg her to stay. They may be right. No cocktail party so Britt must grab Chris as the the rose ceremony starts. 

Chris confronts Britt: "I'm not saying that you're lying. But I've been told that you've potentially been lying." Smooth. He caves and admits Carly told him that Britt didn't like Iowa. If you tell Chris a secret it's like posting it on Facebook. He'll tweet your secret while you're not looking. 

Britt apologizes about challenging Chris on the group date, but it's too late. He was over her since the group date. He's harsh: "The way you reacted is not what I want for a wife." Ouch! Britt's not a bad person, she doesn't gossip. She's just in the pretty person bubble, and for that we can blame society. Goodbye, Britt. You won't have a hard time finding a boyfriend who lives in a more populated city. 

"I'll walk you out of Iowa"

Roses go to Whitney, Becca, and Jade. Kaitlyn already has Britt's rose. Carly is out and has a typical limo-cry, saying that she's always the rejected one. Although Carly is sweet and funny, I'm always frustrated with this attitude. The whole drama of this show is BASED ON REJECTION. If you want to feel wanted, date a guy who's not as cute as you and lives with his mother. 

Goodbye Carly, we'll miss you! But you were getting bitter and aren't cruises more fun than cornfields? I hope you find a nice boyfriend soon. 

Hometowns #1: "This is Big"

Becca's hometown date is in Louisiana. It's remarkable only for the shocked attitudes of her family members. Becca has never brought a guy home. She won't hold hands with guys. She seems uninterested in relationships. Her mom and sister are completely shocked that she could be dating anyone. In her mom's words, "This is big." Becca's floopy red blouse is perhaps bigger, but this thing with Chris is big too. 

Hometown #2: Whitney Wants a Sample

In Chicago, Whitney takes Chris to work at the fertility clinic. She pranks him by pretending she wants a sample. Psych! I found it disturbing that they were all hanging out as an embryo was being created. Can you really just hover over it like that? Is that sterile? 

Beware: This clinic lets just anyone play with the embryos 

Let us note that this is the only Hometown where Chris asks for a blessing for a proposal. This may mean that Whitney and her helium voice are the frontrunners. Whitney defines her sister as the one who can give the blessing. Whitney is so in looooove and begs for her sister's consent ("Please do not ruin this for me"). But the sister can't agree when Whitney remains one of four. She tells Chris she can only bless the proposal if Whitney is the final choice: "Call me when you have that for her." Now that is rational. It's so weird when the guy asks all four families for a blessing and three families are left looking like idiots. 

Whitney optimistically opens a bottle of wine that she was saving for her husband and they toast. Hmmm maybe should have waited a week or two longer, just in case.

Hometown #3: Stop Rapping Now Please

Kaitlyn is from Alberta but her family lives in Phoenix for the winters. I'm freezing in Canada right now, believe me this family is smart. 

This date revealed that Kaitlyn is way cooler than Chris. She takes him to a recording studio where they write a rap song together. Chris has zero rhythm and the techs are smirking and they have to do a million takes. Even worse, he didn't come up with even one funny line for the song. It was all about love and journeys and roses. Kaitlyn is cool and hilarious and I just can't imagine her with such a serious and awkward dude. I like Chris, just not for her. 

One of these people is funnier than the other

An example: Chris goes to every house with a bottle of wine and flowers. It's polite and sweet but generic and traditional, while Kaitlyn's an original. Kaitlyn can't say that she loves Chris, but she "hearts" him and she paid for a billboard to prove it. See, cute and creative. If she doesn't "win," I'm voting Kaitlyn for Bachelorette. 

Hometown #4: The Wild Mustang

The most dramatic Hometown goes to Jade, whose family lives in Nebraska. Chris keeps saying how he loves Jade's "midwest & small town values." Chris meets Jade's family (dad and fiancée, mom, brothers) and presents her with a letterman jacket from his high school. Like she'd wear that ugly thing. 

The family is hinting so hard at Jade's Playboy past. They call her a "wild mustang" and "free spirit" and say that she's been "too much to handle" for some guys. You gotta watch out for the quiet ones! I find it funny that the family has horse pillows - this date now has a horsey theme. Jade's dad was so sweet when he cries and says that he wants her to be with someone who "doesn't put you down for being you." I love how her dad accepts her so completely.

The date goes downhill when Chris and Jade go to this seedy hotel room and Jade reveals the whole Playboy thing. Chris is so shocked! Jade asks if he wants to see the photos and videos. He absolutely does not want to see them, but he says he's okay with it. This is his face while they look at the laptop together:

Oh, a video too...

Chris wanted to see Jade's wild side and now: "I saw her out of her shell...completely out of her shell." He tells Jade that it's not a dealbreaker. But he tells the camera that he would have to explain this to his conservative neighbours and coworkers. And what would the pastor think?

The Mustang is Set Free

Rose ceremony in Iowa and Chris is falling in love with multiple people. He calls Whitney first, then Kaitlyn, then Becca. I suspect this is the true hierarchy. Poor Jade is kicked out because of her past. Chris sits with her and lies to her face. Chris says it's only because the other relationships were moving faster. Ya, right. He can't lie and he twitches so obviously while saying this that Jade actually laughs - before she starts to cry hysterically. She gets what's really going on.

This was the twitch of lies

Very obviously, Jade was a frontrunner. She was the only one who: saw Chris's home, met his parents, got his letterman jacket. But the racy pics (and video) changed everything. Chris can't admit it, but they did. And this is fair enough. Chris is tortured and crying because he's afraid he'll regret this decision. He's a conservative guy who couldn't handle the Mustang. He made the right decision for himself, and Jade deserves much better for herself. 

As her dad said, Jade needs to be with a guy who can accept her for who she is. She doesn't seem embarrassed of the pictures and neither should her boyfriend. I predict there are likely many great guys who are perfect for the Wild Mustang. She just needs to tell them about the Mustang soon so she can weed out the ones who can't handle it.  

Here's something funnier that happened at the end. I'll just say that Whitney's dog has already found her true love. 

May Chris be as happy with his choice

Coming up next week: Fantasy suite dates! I'm curious to see how Becca handles it and whether she will "order room service" as her sister insinuated. See you then!