Sunday, 12 October 2014

Bachelor Canada Season 2, Episode 4: If Only the Sharks Would Eat Tim's Outfits

Welcome to the recap of Episode 4 of The Bachelor Canada! We're in the Bahamas and Tim's still in the same outfit of rolled up khaki pants that look like capris, the open button-down shirt, and five o'clock shadow. Tim's uniform: Fabrio meets The Gap.

Tim's style icon

A general observation for this season is that the women don't seem that smitten. Most are saying things like, "I want to figure out if there's chemistry." From the looks of The Bachelor Canada Facebook page, the viewers are not sure about their chemistry with Tim either. He seems totally smart and he's serious about finding The One, but he also seems guarded and his appearance is too cultivated. Is it nerves? His personality? Hard to say. Tim's a tough nut to crack.

Cultural Commentary

As compared to the American show, Bachelor Canada has:
-Shorter episodes - While this wastes less of my time (appreciated) and there is less filler (great), it's hard to connect with anyone and the relationships seem rushed.
-Less of a host. I don't even remember his name and he's hardly been around since the first episode. Maybe he was eaten by a shark?
-Less competition, but maybe this is because no one is that into the guy.
-Less interesting locations, obviously has less of a budget.
-Bartenders (never saw a bartender on Bachelor USA, but I've seen them on this one!)

Natalie's Date: They Could Hear Crickets

Natalie gets invited on the first one-on-one. The date has no plan and they wander aimlessly. The conversation can be described as Awkward Strangers. She's completely nervous and they can't really talk normally. He doesn't offer her the date's rose, but she's not kicked off either. I can't blame her for choosing to pack it in early. Natalie goes home knowing she'd be cut later.

Back at harem headquarters, Lisa is using her favourite expression to describe Natalie ("bats**t cray") or any other women who ever expresses an emotion. She has a list of favourite adjectives, and this is her #1, with "badass" being #2. Her language choice implies that she is so tough, unlike these other girls. My question: Why is it so important to seem tough? It's not a reality television show about forming a street gang. When Natalie walks in and announces her departure, Lisa's all compassion and sad faces. No consistency between the trash talk and the trash walk, Lisa!

These Sharks Were Pre-Fed

The group date concept is awesome. April, Dominique, Kaylynn, Lisa and Sachelle go snorkelling with Bahamian sharks! We know that the producers would not set up something life-threatening, so it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. But then again, I'd love to do this and I know many people who would consider it a nightmare. I bet it's more dangerous to drink alcohol and swim than to be around those sharks. All the women go in the water for a little bit. Kaylynn is freaked out and timid because that's how she rolls. April is the only one with the guts to stay in the water with Tim and this scores her more points. I was kind of hoping for at least a minor shark attack at some point, but alas, the sharks must have been pre-fed.

They fed the sharks the sound guy before letting the women in the water

The after-swim party includes numerous make-outs, starting with Dominique. Her strategy is to smoulder and make intense eye contact. Then there are sloppy seconds, thirds, etc. to go around. If they only made Purell for the mouth.

Two-on-One Date: The Loser Scrams Midway

Trisha and Rileigh hang out with Tim on a boat. They make small talk. Rileigh likes philosophy, Trisha was previously engaged. Tim seems more at ease and a better match with Rileigh, but he appreciates that Trisha broke up an engagement and Rileigh is sent home. Don't think too hard, the whole thing is incomprehensible. Trisha and Tim frolic in the water and she gets a rose.

Rileigh doesn't seem that disappointed. She goes home, finds a political science major who appreciates her smarts, and they have higher quality conversations for the rest of their lives. The end!

No Choices Are Made

I won't leave you in suspense: Everyone gets roses in the rose ceremony because two women are already gone. Trisha already has a rose. April, Lisa, Dominique, Kaylynn, and Sachelle get to stay too. It looked like this was a last minute decision (Tim ran off to get an extra rose) but it was obviously already planned just to freak the women out for no reason.

There are six women left and they're all going with Tim to his hometown of Toronto. Looks like Natalie tries to come back (at least I think it's her that comes back). Ya, that's gonna turn out awesome for her.

See you next week, eh?


  1. Don't know why on one else comments but this blog is b**shit funny :) :). If they only made Purell for the mouth LOL! Thank you for making me laugh.HARD. :)

  2. Glad you like it. But seriously, I'm way less scared of swimming with sharks than the saliva exchange that occurs on this show.

  3. Love, love, love your take on things Rachel!