Sunday, 9 August 2015

Your Top 10 for Bachelor in Paradise Week 2 (Sunday Night)

Tonight was all about jockeying for roses. Your top ten for this week:

1. If you leave paradise, no one will help you with your suitcase. Adios, Lauren.

2. The fashion choices: Mikey's little ponytail, the American flag swimwear (Joe and Joshua), and for the win, Juelia's wacky headband. You seem really nice, Juelia, but maybe that was a necklace?

3. JJ's one liners killed it. If only he had brought that game at the comedy club with Amy Schumer! I especially enjoyed when he compared Joshua to a lazy carp. The best was: "A blind squirrel finds a nut every now and again." I feel that should be a Yiddish expression.

4. Bad first impression ideas from...
Josh: Talk about drinking illegally spiked coconuts and waking up in Vegas without your wallet.
Joe: Sit silently. Avoid eye contact. Ask someone out and when they try to confirm that you did it, say,"But did I?"

5. Fun facts: The cast gets blood tests prior to the show.  The men's necklaces double as microphones. The ocean possibly makes a cleaner bathroom than the actual washrooms at the resort (Ashely I.'s actions suggest this one). Joe doesn't speak spanish (maƱana, NOT manata). Tenley was a princess in Tokyo's Disneyland. And, sorry Josh, Tokyo is NOT in China. 

6. The resort doubles as a Mexican zoo. The crabs! The birds! But, what did they put in the wine bottle to make Clare's raccoon paw at it like that?

7. Joe needs to pay more attention to the hidden cameras. Didn't he see Ashlee's fiasco last year? Saying Juelia is "not that smart" on national TV, ouch.

8. Juelia is waaaay too trusting for this show! I suggest eHarmony.

9. Clare didn't let Mikey kiss her and said she wanted to explore options. Ya, Mikey is not the best at reading the subtle cues.

10. Ashley is mad that Jared asked out Clare. She thinks Clare is old with dead eggs. Don't know if she's got dead eggs, but she's got your boyfriend. 

P.S., I found out via Twitter that Tenley enjoyed her kiss with JJ - soft lips, apparently. It was nice for JJ and Tenley to answer my Twitter questions! Visit me there if you are  inclined: (@Bachcaps). Love him or hate him, JJ has a good sense of humour about himself.

This one's for Lauren I.!

See you tomorrow night!

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