Thursday, 23 July 2015

The Bachelorette with Kaitlyn: The Rejected Men Tell All Recap - Top 10 moments

The momentum of this season is lost. That's what happens when travel plans are limited to two countries and zero resorts. No beaches, for you Kaitlyn! I heard a rumour from that they had planned to go to Patagonia (South America) but the plans got messed up - for reasons unrelated to Kaitlyn. It seems like the final rose ceremony is at the Bachelor mansion. Anyone else ready for Bachelor in Paradise in Mexico??

Bachelor in Paradise Preview!

In the BiP previews, Eyelashley cries. That's all I remember. Shows will be on Sunday AND Monday, and there will be a one-hour weekly After-Show. That dose of BiP is too strong, doctor! Premiere is on August 2.

Top 10 Men Tell All Moments

1. Knee-an: Ian, now Knee-an, gets down on his knees to apologize to the men for his arrogance. He does the same with Kaitlyn but gets a leg cramp. Ian, the memory of your rude exit is fading, as this awkward apology pervades our collective consciousness. Even if this was just to save your rep, saying sorry is still appreciated.

Standing up is just fine!

2. Corey's Sour Grapes: There is always that random, bitter dude on Men Tell All. Corey (the investment banker) was sent packing early on, but his ego was bruised. He compensates with sour grapes toward Kaitlyn. Ben H. said it best. To paraphrase: You didn't get to know her that well, so how much is your opinion worth?

Sour grapes are not the most attractive

3. Nick, Nick, Niiiiick: Corey, Kupah and Jonathan are still bitter about Nick's Week 4 entrance. Kupah and Jonathan were both Britt voters. They didn't eliminate themselves, or come clean like Jared did, so the moralizing comes off as insincere. Remember how Kupah said he wanted a "trophy wife"? He's a DJ and likely wants to chase the spotlight. Wrong Reasons!

Jonathan is mad because because contestants lost their jobs and were away from their kids for this. Those who quit their jobs and/or leave their kids to be on Reality TV are advised to consider the advance. No one knows who the Bachelor/ette will be when they apply, you can't blame the Bachelor/ette later if you don't end up liking them or vice versa.

Jonathan could have left the first night when Britt left. Sadly, there are news reports that he recently filed for bankruptcy. Job interviews are on hold as Jonathan goes to frolic on Bachelor in Paradise. His baby mama may be shaking her head right about now. BiP contestants get a salary for each day they stay on, so at least there's that.

No jobs or kids here either

3. The Silence of the Mens: Some people spoke a lot, but nary a word from the Healer Bonsai Tree Man. Kentucky Joe snorted a few times, and tried to scare Kaitlyn with a pigeon mask. He's kind of kooky, no? Loved his blooper real where he kisses Kaitlyn and then runs into the bushes for a bathroom break. He seems to make it to BiP, as he was seen in a pool wrapped around a lady.

Missing the Healer

4. Clint and JJ Were Just Good Friends: Clint and JJ had an intense friendship and break-up. But they have made it clear that they are straight. The tittering latent homophobia is getting old. I'm not their biggest fans (Jared called JJ an acquired taste), but no one deserves public questioning of their stated sexual orientation. The show feeds into this with their edits and their Clint/JJ recap. Not cool, producers!

5. Hark, Jared Shaves! Chris Harrison called it. The sparse beard wasn't working. Shaving was in Jared's Bachelor in Paradise contract. He's hung up on Kaitlyn, but BiP previews suggest there are steamy moments with Eyelashley.

It had to go

6. The Battle of the Bens: The ladies love hunky Ben Z. and boy-next-door Ben H. I vote for a battle of the Bens for Bachelor! But only if they keep Both Bens until the end. Two Bens are better than one! If it's just one, I prefer Ben H.

Battle of the Benz?

7. The Contestants Get Handlers: Ben H. referred to a handler who came in when Kaitlyn was in his and Shawn's room. It was the handler who caused Ben H. to take the infamous shower, during which Kaitlyn told Shawn he was "the one." Yes, the contestants have handlers, like horses. Or a Saint Bernard at a dog show.


8. The Bachelor/ette Says NO to Cyber Bullies: Whoa on those hateful tweets toward Kaitlyn. How awful that she's had death threats. Sometimes I wish that the bullies' families and workplaces were privy to their true natures. If you wouldn't say it to your mom or if you'd lose your job over it, don't post it! The anonymity of the Internet allows people to channel their hate to strangers. Bad day at work? Call Kaitlyn a bad name! I looked some of these people up on Twitter, and they seem to have no insight into the fact that the tweets reflect worse on the tweeter than they do on Kaitlyn! Some of the cyberbullies are moms and dads, yet they complain about Kaitlyn being a bad role model. Being a parent is unfortunately not protective against being abusive.

It was great to see Kaitlyn get a standing ovation and support from the show. Buuuuut, the show totally manipulates contestants and goads them on, while the contestants get all the heat. Every season there are Fantasy suites and "off-camera moments" but this season, they turned it into a main storyline. It does not excuse the cyberbullying, but the producers fed into this situation.

9. Ryan has a Gopher on his Head: Remember that guy who got drunk the first night and jumped in the pool after groping Kaitlyn? He's back, with a gopher on his head. Or a toupee. Or maybe some old spaghetti.

Not the best hair

9. Amy Schumer Isn't Done: During bloopers, The comedian calls JJ Colonel Sanders. This makes me giggle but I don't even know why! JJ will be a hoot on BiP. Fun Fact: his real name is John H. Lane the Third. I didn't even make that up, check out his Facebook!

10. The Dramatic Ending You Won't Believe: I'd believe it if one guy gets sent home and the other proposes. And that's likely what will happen! Unless Kaitlyn's attacked by birds and the whole show is cancelled. Now that would be dramatic!

More dramatic than this finale will be

See you next week!

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